Sometimes you get told that you’re a #BossBabe who can conquer the world in pink heels. 

Sometimes you find yourself in a room with 30 people who are taking turns criticizing an ad in a local magazine;
30 people who don’t realize the creator of that ad is also in the room.

And then you ugly cry in your car for a half hour.

And then your new car gets rear-ended driving to Grandma’s for dinner.

And then you and Grandpa still can’t find that arrow that went rogue during last week’s target practice.

And it crosses your mind to run away. 

But then you remember some wise words from an inspiring teacher:

‘People will tell you that you need to have thick skin. You don’t. You need to have smooth skin. Thick skin will make you jaded. Smooth skin will let that stuff just roll right off of you.’

‘We all go through hard things in life. You’ve got to have roots. The wind pushes on you to make you strong. Dig deep. Lean in. Keep pushing forward.’

And then you feel better.

But you still run away for a day,
Because a salty storm is good for the soul.
And Alejandro hadn’t been to the beach yet.
And Brookings is the kind of place you can live for 10 years and still not know about every random waterfall oasis.

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀

There are many things I can do well:
Build a website.
Drive a snow plow.
Recite the quadratic formula on command.
Thrive within a financial budget.
Dance like no one is watching.
Immediately identify the presence of a puppy dog within a 100 yard radius.
Create a culinary masterpiece using nothing but cheese.

And it lasted four days?

It got progressively worse.

January 26

Accountant: “You forgot to clock in AND out yesterday? Did you even work?”
Dani: “NO WAY! I swear I at least clocked out. I need to get my life turned around.”

January 30

Accountant: “What time did you return from lunch on Friday?”
Dani: “You’ve got to be kidding me. 12:48, please.”

February 1

Time Clock:

Dani: “Have I been fired?”
Accountant: “It seems to have been a glitch in the system. Should be fixed now. So just keep punching in and out like normal… only better.”
Dani: “Did it revoked my punching privileges because I’m so inconsistent?”
Accountant: “Unfortunatly, no.”
Dani: “Your jokes are top notch today.”

*Very soon after*

Accountant: “What time did you leave today?”
Dani: “12:45. You deserve a raise.”

February 2

Accountant: “Thank you for helping me out with this.”
Dani: “It’s the least I can do after committing 42 punching violations this week.”
Accountant: “I didn’t want to be the one to say it.’

Working relationships are all about give-and-take.

February 13

“I’ve been gone for a week. That means no time clock corrections! This is the fresh start I needed. I’m optimistic for the future.”
– I thought as I clocked in for work.

*End of the day*

Dani: “First day back..guess who didn’t clock out. Old habits die real hard.”
Accountant: “YOU!”
Dani: “I know. I’ve disappointed even myself.”

February 15

Accountant: “Don’t clock in or out for the rest of the day. Just email me your times.”
Dani: “Now this is the sort of task I need to be assigned. I’m going to do a great job.”
Accountant: “I appreciate your compliance.”

March 3

Dani: “Remember that time I went a whole pay period without a time clock adjustment and shocked the world?!”
Accountant: “Oh. I didn’t even notice. But good job.”

Started from the bottom;
Now. We. Here.

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀

The things that come to mind when I think of January:

Frigid Temperatures.

Alejandro went on his first arctic adventure!
The little guy did great, and he even got himself a tiny icicle.

The day was full of snow angels, ice fishing, and trudging through the snow.

It was all fun and games until Katelyn’s foot broke through the frozen lake.
‘Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!’
– I shouted while doing nothing to help because I didn’t want to let go of my hand warmers.
(She’s fine.)

At one point I drove a snow plow.
And I did a great job.

I apologize for the low quality picture. This isn’t a selfie, and my regular photographer had clocked out for the day.

Icicles on Alejandro? Cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
Icicles in Casa De Awesome? Time to admit that I have a problem.

I guess I should turn on my heater.

Dani: ‘Will you take me to get my car? It’s been at work for the past few days. The roads are getting better, and I really should go get it.’
Friend: ‘Sure. Go start your car and come sit back in my car. Let yours warm up for a while.’
Dani: ‘Good idea.’
…
Dani: ‘Welp. The doors are locked.’
Friend: ‘You started your car and then locked the doors?’
Dani: ‘NOOOOOO! I started the car and the keyless entry must have freaked out and locked itself. Alejandro wouldn’t have done this. Alejandro cares about me.’
Friend: ‘Do you have a spare?’
Dani: ‘My spare keyless entry is at my Aunt and Uncle’s house..’
Friend: ‘Let’s go.’
…
As I watched my friend leave the parking lot after returning me to my running vehicle, I learned a valuable lesson:
Keyless entry doesn’t work if the vehicle is already running.
Keyless entry is a fickle whore with too many rules.

Co-Worker: ‘Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to disconnect your battery..’
Dani: ‘How will you do that, if I can’t pop the hood for you?’
Co-Worker: ‘*Expletive.* It can still be done. Just depends on how tight your fan belt is..’
Dani: ‘Yeah, I’m calling AAA.’

AAA and I are becoming close friends.

Days without coffee.

‘I feel awful. Could this be related to my lack of coffee consumption the past two days?’

Dani: ‘SUPERVISOR! I’ve cracked the code. Listen to this: Headache? Got it. Fatigue? I literally slept all day yesterday. And I snuck away for 15 minutes while you were gone to nap in the quiet room. That stays between us. Depressed mood or irritability? I’ve been snappy this morning. I’ll admit it.’
Customer 1: ‘She has been snappy. She snapped at me. Remember?’
Dani: ‘No one asked you. Difficulty concentrating? Yup. Got it.’
Customer 2: ‘Exactly how many years are these withdrawals supposed to last? You’ve had them for a while..’
Dani: ‘Shut up. And flulike symptoms such as nausea or muscle pain. That’s what I’ve been complaining about all day!’

Phone rings:
‘This is the addiction services hotline. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction to drugs or alcohol, press 1.’

Dani: ‘That’s just freaky. Which one of you narks tipped them off? Snitches get stitches, son.’
Customer 1: ‘Want me to pour you a cup of java real quick.’
Customer 2: ‘You need eye cups. Take it through the eyes. That’s the best way to do it. Tear ducts.’
Customer 1: ‘Weird. That must be a firefighter thing.’
Customer 2: ‘We’re tough. Pretty, pretty tough. Yeah.’
Dani: ‘Go away.’

Days with coffee.

I took a break from my ‘no coffee’ stint in honor of a breakfast date with Padre.
I can’t make fun of all the cream and sugar he uses if I’m not willing to pound 6 cups of black coffee to show him that he raised a real man.
And sweet baby Jesus, it was good.
Praise His holy name.

There’s nothing like being reunited with the gentle caress of a former lover. Am I right?

Quality Thomas-Time.

Thomas: ‘What did the pirate say when he turned 80? He said, ‘Arrrrrr! I’m 80.”

Quality Valeri-Time.

Dani: ‘There’s a concert at Rocky Tonk next week. It’s this guy. He wears a straw hat.’

Valeri: ‘Oh, he’s about to F-up someone’s garden. I can tell.’
Dani: ‘Well now I can’t take this concert seriously.’
Valeri: ‘Just picture a tiny gnome leaning on his foot.’
Dani: ‘You ruin everything good in my life.’
Valeri: ‘It’s not on purpose. I promise.’

*At the concert*

Dani: ‘He has lawn mowers in the trailer attached to his bus. You were right. Keep an eye on your foliage.’
Valeri: ‘I knew it. All you have to do is look at the guy. You can tell.’

Needy text messages.

It had been 32 hours.

Clearly my love language is gifts.

I cropped my abs of steel out of this screenshot. It pained me to do it. But modest is hottest.

Revelations.

‘Alejandro’ was my most read blog post, ever.
By a long shot.
I suspect it’s because I announced it with this Facebook post:

Apparently I’ve got some ghost followers with a weird emotional investment in my love life.
Good to know.

Awkward Conversations.

Dani: ‘Is this your way of inviting me over?’
Friend: ‘Yes it is. I just feel bad making you get out of bed because I know you’re probably comfy and I’m being selfish and wanting you to come over because I want you to.’
Dani: ‘You are being selfish. I just got out of the bath. But I’ll come over. Because that’s what friends are for. But I’m not wearing a bra. And I’m bringing laundry. And I’ll need you to make me a quesadilla. And some hot cocoa. And I’ll need to stay the night, because the roads will become too bad for me to drive home. But it’ll be okay. Because your child can scream from 0:300-05:30. I don’t need to sleep.’
Friendship is about compromise.

Dani: ‘I have a problem. I can drink like a fish and I don’t get hangovers. The day after my birthday, I was counting drinks. I got to 11, that I could remember. I felt fine. No headache.  No upset tummy. Just a little sleepy. Long story short, you’ve raised an incredible specimen.’
Dad: ‘Oh, good.’

Co-Worker: ‘Can we get matching tattoos? So people will know that you’re my work wife? We can each get half of a circle. Together it’ll make a full circle. OH! Or a panda bear. We can each get a panda bear. On the inside of our elbow. That way, if either of us fall into a drug addiction, the need can just go right in the bear’s nose, or something.’
Dani: ‘Then we can say things like, ‘Someone’s craving some black-tar heroin! I’ll give you a hint..it’s my Vein Panda.”
Co-Worker: ‘YES!’
Dani: ‘No.

Teacher: ‘Danielle, welcome to the new term. I see you’re still quiet.’
Dani: ‘It’s for the greater good, I promise.’
Teacher: ‘Oh, I know.’

Matthew: ‘Make yourselves at home.’ 
Dani: ‘If this were my home I’d be sitting behind that desk making Anchor Man jokes. I’ll call Ellie ‘Tits McGee’ all day long.’

Teacher: ‘Draw a picture of what the target market for your project looks like.’

‘He’s a blue-collar worker who is already certified in a trade. 20-35 years old, a family man. He’s tired, but he’s happy. Because that’s a PBR in his hand.’

Dani: ‘Sorry that I put a hole in your fence, Grandpa. I don’t know how that arrow got away from me.’

Good days.

Tough days.

I got to work at 07:06 with puffy eyes.
The doors were locked, the Mail Tribune unread, and this chair empty.

‘For the love of God, Ron Brady! Why couldn’t you just drink Jameson?!’
-Ticia and I shouted after being denied Black Velvet at four different locations, before finally heading to Carl’s Jr. and a liquor store.

#MillilonAirFamily

And lots more adventures.

#OlsonPrincesses

When your best friend is manless and childless for the first time in your entire friendship,
You go to an Aaron Carter concert.
You get a man’s ponytail in and around your mouth.
You get mad.
You leave before Aaron Carter hits the stage, because three openers before the headliner is just insane, and you’re sleepy.
You get sweet potato fries.
You drive past the venue once more and see that Aaron Carter is parked directly behind Alejandro.
You laugh at Aaron Carter for driving himself to his own concert.
You go home and go to bed.

And you only have this low-quality picture to commemorate the whole evening.

Stay tuned for February.

I start the month in Texas, you won’t want to miss it.

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀

**I started working on this post in June of 2016.
It was going to be about all the magical milestones I’ve experienced in five years at Million Air Medford, and there would be jokes about how I received my 5-year award very close to a year late.

January 24th, 2017 I was presented with my 5-year longevity award.
‘It’s time to take a cute picture with my award and finalize my blog post!’ – I thought.

January 26th, 2017 the loss of a co-worker and dear friend shook the Million Air MFR family.

So the theme of this post has shifted.
From a memoir: ‘5 years in the life of Dani,’
To a tribute: ’67 months with a great man – Ronald William Brady.’

Ron Brady hated having his picture taken, so I’d hit him hard with that sneak attack.

His chuckle is one-of-a-kind.
His Grumpy Gus voice is unforgettable.
He gave me horrible life advice like, ‘Marry for money. You’ll learn to love.’
And said, ‘You can help us throw bags. You’re a little manly like that.’
He’d ask Air Traffic Control  the important questions like, ‘Why you busting my balls, man?’
The guy loved aviation, crossword puzzles, and Black Velvet.
His work ethic was second to none;
He ran circles around line guys 1/3 his age.
He’d always say that he would die on the airport; and we all knew he was right.

We spent many a holiday and birthday together.
(He turned 75 on January 13th!)
He wouldn’t walk past me without shaking my chair or squeezing my arm.
It was my honor to sit with him at our Company Christmas Party as he was awarded Employee of the Year 2016;
The only Million Air MFR Christmas Party he had ever attended.

January 26th

I stopped by work to grab a drink before class.

‘Goodbye, Ron.’
– I said in my best Grumpy Gus voice as I left the lobby.
‘Yeah, goodbye, Dani.’
– He said with a chuckle.

January 26th

I returned to work after class.
And he was gone.

So here’s to a man who charted the Pacific Crest Trail on the back of a Golden Palomino.
A man who lead the Pear Blossom Parade in a white Stetson.
A man who inspired me to relentlessly pursue a relationship with my own grandparents.
A man who was known and loved by all who stepped foot on the Rogue Valley International Medford Airport.
A man who’s passing has single-handedly spiked the sale of Black Velvet in the Rogue Valley.
The man, the myth, and legend.
The real deal.
The one and only, Ron Brady.
My favorite Grumpy Gus ❤

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀

PS: A celebration of the life of Ronald William Brady will be held at the Medford Airport on Tuesday 07 February 2017 at 2:30 PM in the Superior Air Hangar located at 2080 Milligan Way Medford Oregon 97504.
The family is having a private service earlier in the day.
Family, friends, coworkers, airport personnel, Civil Air Patrol and fellow aviators are invited to attend.

Four days after winning ‘Most likely to push your car to work,’
My car died while pulling into the parking lot at work and I quite nearly had to push it into a parking space.
Apparently my boss is highly prophetic.

Dad: ‘Well, now  you know that it may die as you drive home tonight, and you can be prepared.’
Dani: ‘Nay. I’m never driving that car again. She done me dirty.’
Dad: ‘I understand.’

Five days after winning ‘Most likely to push your car to work,’
I bought a car.

Dad: ‘It concerns me, a single {pretty} girl going to a car lot by herself. The vultures WILL come out.’
Dani: ‘Not to worry. My boss recommended a respectful place. And I will take a ‘Tough as Nails Price Negotiator’ with me.’
(He didn’t actually use the word ‘pretty.’ But we all know what he meant.)

‘I don’t want to be with you when you buy a house.’
– Said my Tough as Nails Price Negotiator while I hyperventilated at the thought of financing $3,500.

Alas, I’d like you all to meet Alejandro;

He is a Ford Fiesta, a matador, and a gentleman.
We shout ‘ANDALE!’ at red lights and ‘ARRRRRRIBA!’ when they turn green.
(I am in the market for a tiny sombrero to hang from the rear-view mirror.)

Photo Credit: “Renegade”

Glamour Shot. Purely majestic.

Alejandro and I were excited to entertain our first guest, the famed photographer himself:
“Renegade.”

Our guest was incredibly jealous of my ‘worst car’ prize.
He tried convincing me that I needed to return it so it could be presented to the runner up;
Because I purchased a nicer car within 10 days of winning the award.
‘It’s in the employee manual.’
– He said.
‘I reformatted the employee manual 6 months ago. I know that thing like the back of my hand. The flashlight will remain in my possession.’
– I retorted.

No one tells Alejandro and I what to do.

The day Alejandro and I committed to spending 36 months together is also the day that Fall grades were released:

A margarita to celebrate the big day and emotionally process the cost of full-coverage auto insurance:

Olé!

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀