I’ll be the first to admit that I was a little unprepared to purchase my own piece of property. I’ve never had to worry about boring things like gutters and disconnecting garden hoses and hooking up the dryer vent in a way that won’t start a fire.
These are my stories from the ‘acre of hard knocks’:
(Everything mentioned below occurred in the span of 4 days. You can imagine the wild ride that has taken place in my life since September.)
Dani: That plug you usually use hasn’t been working. So I put an extension cord in there for you.
Farrier: Do you need an electrician?
Dani: I don’t know. I hope not. But do you know one? Who also works on trailer wiring, per chance?
Farrier: I do. *Quizzical look* Did you try the GFCI?
Dani: I don’t know what that means.
Farrier: The little button. Did you push the little button.
Dani: It has one of those?! I didn’t notice that.
Farrier: *Deep sigh* I’m going to push the little button.
Dani: Good idea. Let me know what happens.
Farrier: It’s working again.
Dani: Hey, look at that!
I don’t know why he continues to tolerate Harley and I every six weeks. But I am sure glad he does!
*My Realtor-Friend Visits*
Realtor-Friend: It’s colder inside your house than it is outside.
Dani: My gas bill was outrageous last month! And my power bill was a little high. So I’m not using my furnace. Just two strategically placed space heaters. My power bill will go up a little, but hopefully my gas bill will go down a lot.
Then I find this alarming information regarding my energy usage on the Avista website:
Is this something a *good* adult realizes before purchasing a house?
Was I too distracted by a loft, original Fir floors, and my new lamb to pay attention to the finer points of the real estate agreement?
IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE THAT.
I text my realtor-friend instantly.
Dani: My water heater is GAS?!
Realtor-Friend: Uh, yes.
Dani: Well my plan to lower my gas bill has gone wildly off the tracks. I have been doubling my hot showers to make up for the frigid conditions in my house. I am horrified to see my next gas bill.
And now we wait.
*Dad Checks In*
Dad: Your irrigation lines haven’t frozen, have they?
Dani: *vomit-inducing flashback to my neighbor saying their irrigation has a crack and it will cost $10k to find and fix* Uhhhhh. I HOPE NOT.
Dad: You have that exposed valve. It makes me nervous. Probably should have made an insulated box to go over it.
Dani: Well I have straw, bailing twine, and a tarp. I GUESS THAT WILL HAVE TO DO.
The valve is now covered. Macgyver-style.
1 out of 3 isn’t bad.