Dani: ‘Can we eat soon? I’m starving. I’ve become rather skinny lately. I’ve been told that I could blow away in the wind.’
Dad: ‘I don’t think that’s true. Do you need to see a full-body picture of yourself to bring you back to reality?’
Dani: ‘Sure. We can use this picture that was recently taken:’

Dani: ‘I’m the one with dat booty.’
Dad: ‘I can’t have this conversation.’

Dani: ‘Look at all these pictures I photobombed. That’s my ‘I’m not supposed to be in this picture. But I am.’ face.’
Dad: ‘Huh. You look like you have a bad spray tan in some of those pictures.’
Dani: ‘Thank you, Father.’

As we left for dinner,
Father was the first to walk out the front door.
Dani was the last to walk out the front door.

‘That’s alright. I’LL close the door.’
– Father sneered as he went back into the house, to close the door I had forgotten.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, we exited the Party-Time Cruiser.
Everyone closed their doors effectively.
Except for one.

‘Doors.’
– I said with a shrug while my father took a deep breath and unlocked the car so I could try again; disappointment slowly filling his eyes.

Dad: ‘Now there are two sets of doors as we enter the restaurant. There are people inside. They can see how you handle this situation. There may even be someone coming out the doors as we go in.’
Dani: ‘I’m not ready. We’re here. I have to. Here I go.’
Dad: ‘..why are you going in on the left side?! That’s the exit.’
Dani: ‘It was already slightly ajar! I panicked and decided to go with the sure thing.’

Once inside, the discussions turned philosophical.

Dani: ‘Did you steal my spoon? I don’t need it, but I’m curious as to why I don’t have one. Where has it gone? What is it doing? Is it okay? Does it need me?’
Dad: ‘I did not steal your spoon. I haven’t stirred anything in hours.’
Dani: ‘Oh my. I haven’t stirred anything in days. Now that’s a humbling thought.’

It was then that we ran into some old family friends, whom I haven’t seen in 10 years.

Lady: ‘Oh, look at Dani! She’s beautiful! And so grown!’
Dani: ‘They tell me that I’m an adult, these days!’
Lady: ‘Well, I’m going to get back to my group!’
Dani: ‘Don’t leave. I’m about to do something ridiculous that will perplex everyone and leave rice strewn about the entire restaurant.’

And I did.

‘Uh oh.’
– I said to Padre as I discovered that my entire body had become covered in sauce from my orange chicken.
‘I don’t understand how this happened.’

‘This is why I didn’t take you people to the fancy restaurant.’
– He replied; slowly realizing that he may have failed as a parent.

After dinner, we stopped by the bank.

‘Are you serious?’
– Father pleaded, as I walked away from the Party-Time Cruiser, leaving the door 6 inches ajar.
‘Okay. That’s just freaky. I really tried to close it this time. I pushed it hard and everything.’
– I defended. 

I could tell that I was losing him.
It was time to remind my father that I’m not completely incompetent;
Thus I ended up on top of this bear.

Then we ventured to the store.
My father is a brave man.

Dad: ‘Do you want fruit?’
Dani: ‘Mhm!’
Dad: ‘…’
Dani: ‘…’
Dad: ‘…’
Dani: ‘Oh. No. No fruit, please.’
Dad: ‘What is wrong with you?’

Upon returning to the house,
My dad attempted to unlock the door and dropped his keys.

‘Doors. You know?’
– I said, feeling empathetic and trying to offer emotional support.
‘Oh, no. You are NOT dragging me into this mess with you.’
– He said as he retrieved his keys and unlocked the door with defiance.

Here’s to having better luck with elementary tasks for the rest of the weekend.

Cheers.

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀