Let me tell you about this morning.

My alarm is set for 5:15.
I’m scheduled to work at 7.
I went to bed at 9:30 last night, to make sure that I would be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and straight pumped up for another fun-filled Saturday at Million Air Medford.

This morning, I awoke to a call from my co-worker.
My clock said 7.
I stared for a moment,
Hoping that it was suddenly April 1^st and my clock was joshin’ me;
The iPhone 6 is known to be quite the prankster.
The dark realization of the current date slowly set in;
All the bad words were said.
Classic bad words,
New bad words,
Bad words that make no sense at all;
Nonsensical bad words, if you will.

With nothing but adrenalin and fear pulsing through my veins,
I jumped out of bed,
Threw on some pants and a button down,
(Sleeping nakie is a real time saver in situations like this. Learn from me.)
And headed for the car.

I paid no mind to the frost and foggy-ness that covered my windshield;
Perhaps I drove a block or two with my head out the window.
I don’t know.
Maybe I didn’t.
The memories are pretty hazy.

I drove like a bat out hell;
Hindered only by the unnecessary amount of traffic control systems in place in Central Point,
And my eyelids that would only open half-way.

I made it to work and clocked in at 7:12.
That’s right folks;
Bed to business in twelve minutes flat.
Get on my level.

I entered the lobby to find a pilot already sitting on the couch.
I noticed that he strongly resembled Kasey Kahne;
And realized it might be a good day after all.
(Except it wasn’t actually Kasey Kahne. Story of my life.)

Once the adrenaline subsided,
The horrific reality of my current situation set in.

I’d like to list, for you, the things I didn’t do before leaving home this morning:

• Brush my teeth. (Thank God work has mouthwash.)
• Deodorize. (Thank God work has deodorant.)
• Eat. (For the love of God, someone please feed me.)
• Feed my goldfish. (I hope Vanilla Thunder will be okay.)
• Take my probiotic. (I’m stressed about tomorrow’s morning poo.)
• Today’s morning poo. (I’m stressed about this, as well. A regular poo schedule is very important for overall health.)
• My hair. (This is last night’s sleepy-time bun. Thank God I am a graceful sleeper.)
• My eyebrows. ( You know how Rottweilers have those little tan spots above their eyes? That’s what my eyebrows look like.)

In conclusion:
I declare myself an inspiration.
And I really want to take a shower.

– Dani
😉 🙂 😀